I’ve had a “new year” post in the works since before Christmas, and here we are on January 4th finally posting. Blahh. I haven’t been putting it off on purpose. I’ve been traveling and busy with family and friends. But I have tried to sit down and write something a few times and had some real trouble. I think part of it is that I cannot believe that another year has gone by. I can’t believe that it is 2012 or that I am well into my 27th year of life. I’m also not sure if I’m ready to say bye to 2011. I know that I am definitely ready to move forward and make 2012 really awesome, but I have this weird unfinished feeling about 2011. I almost wish that there wasn’t a big celebration to end it – why does it have to be so final? Do I have to be ready to let go of 2011 the minute 2012 barges in? I hope not. I guess 2011 just didn’t turn out the way that I expected it to. I made a lot of big decisions that have taught me a lot, but I am nowhere near the place I thought I would be a year ago. A few notable mentions from the year…

I did not pay off my credit card debt. This was  one of the tops on my things to do in 2011 and I failed miserably. I can give you all sorts of excuses as to why I didn’t do it , but I guess other things got in the way and it just became less of a priority. A shitty paying job 40 miles away and a car accident didn’t help either. But I continue to spend more than I make and I need. to. STOP. Its been hanging over my head for a few years now and I’m done with it. With my upcoming move to Thailand, it might have to get a little worse before it gets better but I am determined to stop the madness!!

I let other people influence me, even when I knew they were doing it and I didn’t want them to. I really don’t know why I do this. I think it comes from some sort of place that just wants to be accepted by other people. But it doesn’t make any sense, because all the things I did that I didn’t want to do, were all pretty small things. Sometimes I just assume that people will know what I want or what I’m thinking and I get upset when they don’t act as such. But me doing things other people want me to just to please them makes me miserable in the end. And they probably wouldn’t care at all if I simply told them I don’t want to or can’t. This was a big contributor to me not reaching my financial and health goals in 2011 and that just isn’t OK. I need to work on sticking to my guns a little more, work on that

I didn’t follow my gut enough. This is especially related to my job. I don’t have any evidence other than my memory and hindsight, but I am pretty sure I knew this job wasn’t right for me when I accepted it. But as they say about desperate times, and they say I need a “real” job, I felt in between a rock and a hard place and thought taking it was the right thing to do. I was so excited that someone thought I was worthy of hire that I didn’t even really think about what I really wanted. The worst part is – I wasn’t even the first choice! I was passed up for someone who accepted the position and left only 3 weeks later. Warning sign? HELLOOOO Katey! Gahh. I drive myself crazy sometimes.

Things I did right in 2011 and will keep doing:
My communication and relationship skills have seriously improved over the last year. I can give thanks to many people for this, and I know I still have a lot of work to do but I am proud of myself. 

I took a chance on a romantic relationship with someone that had potential to be a good match for me. It didn’t work out, but that is ok. Ask my friend Jackie the turmoil I went through trying to even make the relationship commitment, and you might understand what a big deal this was for me. I am happy for the experience even though it did involve a little bit of heartbreak, because now I know that I am ready for a relationship, there are good guys out there that can care about me for who I am, I know what I want, and I know that I need to work on who I am in a romantic relationship. And I’m getting better at expressing my feelings and taking chances in this department.

I got some major clarity on what I need and want in my career (and what I seriously DON’T want). Although this “right” thing came from something that I did wrong,  I have so much more direction on what I am looking for in the future and what I am no longer willing to “put up with” when it comes to being employed by someone  else.

I made my family a priority as much as I could. I did my best to keep in touch, got to go to my sister’s baby shower, and flew home to meet my nephew long before I thought I would.  I spent two full weeks with them at Christmas and New Years, and will get to spend almost a full month with them in February. I freaking love my family and am so thankful for the special relationship we have.

I decided that I didn’t like things and I made solid decisions to change them.  I told someone I was paying for a service that I wouldn’t be paying for it anymore due to their poor service. I decided that I could not be happy working this job anymore and found a way to get out. I decided that there were people  in my life that didn’t make me feel good about myself, so when they asked I told them I didn’t want to hang out. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes I had to move backwards a little to make the change but eventually I figured out how to do it.

I continued to be focused on learning more about who I am, working on the things that I don’t like and growing the things that I am proud of. I can’t say that I was able to do this everyday, but I think it has been a theme for me over the past few years.

I’m sure there are many more things that I did wrong, and hopefully more things that I did right.  In the next year, I want to do a better job of documenting events, feelings, mistakes and other life stuff so that I can make a bigger list for next year. Right now, much of the 2012 is uncertain but I am so so so excited for the things I have coming up and am really looking forward to making this an amazing year for me.  

Just for good measure, some of my solid omgimsoawesome if I do it goals are:

I am healthy (ultimate goal BF < 23%, goal BF by March <30%)

I have paid off my credit card debt

I have lived in Thailand for at least 6 months

I am conversational in Thai

I have visited 5 new countries (not including Thailand)

I have read at least one book each month

I have posted to my blog at least two times a week

I have launched my personal nutritional consulting website/business

I have launched my teen health membership website

I have made at least $1,000 from my own business

I have published an e-book

I wrote them as if I have already accomplished them because my idol Chalene Johnson recommends it. I also love this list of things everyone can be reminded of when starting the new year (or anytime really). Some of these don’t really apply to me but I will definitely be keeping #6, 8, 12 and 29 in mind as ways to improve myself.

So there it is. I have a couple weeks left at my job, 6 weeks of freedom to spend with friends and family, and a one way ticket to Thailand. I think that is a pretty badass start. Woop!