Oh. My. Gahhhd. I can’t believe I haven’t written in over two weeks!!! Not good. That means I have a lot of things I need to get out and a lot of things that I probably forgot I even wanted to write down. A lot has happened since my last post and I am bummed I haven’t been keeping up with it all here. Most notably:

Whitney
Whitney Houston passed away. I have always been a really big fan and I am so sad that she just couldn’t get it back together. I was able to spend the night of her reported death in New York with my sister and good friend Jackie, which was a comfort. Meaning they weren’t afraid/embarrassed to sing so emotional with me really loud walking the streets of Brooklyn.

My Road Trip
My road trip finally came to an end after two weeks! San Diego. Vegas. Winter Park. Um…more Winter Park. That place is amazing. I was supposed to leave Friday but didn’t leave until Monday partly because of a snowstorm and partly because I was having way too much fun! Omaha for my first Couchsurfing experience. Wexford, PA. Brooklyn. Cape Cod. The ultimate low of the trip was definitely the last couple hours getting to Winter Park. I honestly thought I was going to die. I was going to pass out, my heart would explode, I’d crash my car, and be dead. I left Vegas at 5:45 am and didn’t get to my friend’s until after 8 pm. All that driving combined with darkness, huge trucks, hunger, a 5-hour energy shot, and 10,000 ft altitudes really makes for a miserable time. I’m not sure if I could pick a high. I really did have a great time in Colorado and got to do some serious catching up/reconnecting/bonding with one of my best friends from college. I got to do the same thing in Chicago. And seeing my sister is always the best. Driving into my parent’s driveway isn’t too bad either. Or realizing that I just drove across the United States of Americaall by myself. After my night outside of Pittsburgh, I honestly couldn’t believe I was about to drive to New York to my almost-final destination. I had such an amazing trip and it all went by so fast. It is good to be home, don’t get me wrong. But for whatever reason I just expected it to feel longer or be more difficult than it was. So umm…I guess that is actually a good thing. It makes me pretty proud to look at a map of the United States and see the distance that I drove all by myself.

Old Friends
Like I just mentioned, I got to see some of my best friends from college in Colorado and Chicago. My friend in Colorado is going through some of the same things that I am going through, and it was just nice to get to spend some time with him, see his life there and reestablish that we are an important part of each other’s lives. We did some really good partying, some really good relaxing, and had some really good conversations. I was “stuck” there a few extra days and was made to feel right at home. I really love Colorado, don’t be surprised if you find me back there at some point in the future. The same thing happened in Chicago when I got to see my college roommate that I haven’t seen SINCE college almost 5 years ago. We picked up right were we left off and had an absolute blast together (until 5 o’clock in the freaking morning). It was so nice to see her and just feel that comfort and understanding that only exists between real true friends. There is nothing like that feeling. And obviously, my sister and her boyfriend in New York, my two best friends from high school, my other sister and her boyfriend, my nephew, my parents and other family are all happy to have me back here. And I am so happy to have the time to spend with them.

Peace
I had a pretty rough day leaving San Diego, but I really have no regrets or doubts that leaving was the right thing to do. And I had a LOT of time to think about it on my cross country drive. But honestly, since I left and since my time in Colorado I have felt more like myself than I have in a really long time. And that is exactly what I wanted. Seeing friends and family definitely helps with that feeling, but it is bigger than that. I finally feel like I am doing something right, and doing something 100% for me. My move abroad is a decision that I made almost completely on my own. I didn’t even tell anyone until after I had already locked myself in. Conditions aren’t necessarily perfect but when are they ever? I could definitely use more money, and have some loose ends to take of, and people I want to see before I leave but probably won’t be able to. Aside from those minor details, everything is working out really well and it all just feels…right. When I was in Colorado I was telling someone about my trip to Thailand and they made a comment that I didn’t even seem excited. I had to acknowledge the comment and think for a second that maybe they were right? I certainly felt excited when I first made the decision. But after all this time has passed, there is something I feel that is much more powerful than excitement. I feel peace – in that I am completely at peace with where I am right now and what I am doing. So much so that I don’t have to put up a front in the form of excitement to make other people more comfortable with my decision. This is what I’m doing. I’m doing it for myself. And that is really all I need.

So I think that is the best I can do for a two and a half week catch up. Now I have just two weeks until I leave. Whoa. Baby.