I am no stranger to the single life. Its no secret to the people close to me that the romantic love part of my life is lacking. I am ridiculously independent and I know what I want. I don’t know much else than being single and usually I like the lifestyle. But the holidays always bring up the single girl blues. Lately, it is not just that I’m still single. It is that I am still single and everyone else seems to be pairing off. I’m extra pissed about it right now because I wasn’t able to tell someone about my feelings for them and now they are seeing someone else. heart. hurts.

Why is it so hard? Or is the fact that its so hard mean that it isn’t right? I am attractive, smart, funny, have a good job, I’m fun. I am confident enough to approach almost any random guy I see. So why is it that when it comes to someone I’ve known for years I can’t make the move? I’m obviously scared. But there’s more than that. There is more at stake. Possibly losing a friend, changing the relationship forever. A little bit dramatic, but the rejection just seems bigger. But is it worth it? Did I miss my chance again for a connection or something great? I understand the “if something isn’t happening you’re not ready for it” deal or that everything happens for a reason but right now it doesn’t make me feel better. You never realize those things when you’re in it so I only feel like I missed an opportunity. I don’t want to be reckless with my heart or with anyone else’s but it never seems to match up. Whenever I’m all about the single life, every guy I meet is looking for a wifey. When I’m ready and wanting to commit, guys are just looking for a hookup. And the ones I want are with someone else. What is up with that. Will I ever get the timing right? I guess I’m in no position to be starting anything serious. Based on my recent life decisions I should just take myself out of the the relationship game anyways. But sometimes it would be really nice to feel like a potential player.

Do you ever feel lonely? How do you keep the faith? Do I have the worst timing on the planet or do you ever feel the same way?