Did you know that running in 65 degree rain makes me feel alive?

Going for a run in the rain used to be one of my favorite things to do in San Diego. There is nothing like rain and sweat mixing and dripping off your face. Getting crazy looks and honks from people driving by. Feeling so much like a goddamn runner. That you could run forever and are the most amazing runner in the world and nothing else matters except you and the rain and the run.

But, did you know that running in 45 degree rain makes you wish you were dead?

Well, maybe not dead. I tried it and certainly didn’t make me happy to be alive. You wouldn’t think that 20 degrees could make such a difference. But, oh – it does. Take away 20 degrees and add relentless wind and it will be like there is nothing worse in life. I wanted to quit the run, quit running forever, crumple into a cold, soggy, sobbing human ball and quit everything.

That was about a week ago. I don’t want to quit everything anymore, which is good. The weather is getting a (little) bit better each week. There are still no leaves on the trees, though. (Don’t even talk to me about the 80 degree weather San Diego is having right now.) I haven’t lived here during this time for many years, so I don’t really know what it is usually like. I think it is pretty ridiculous to go into May with no leaves on the trees. But what do I know? They all say there is no spring here. It just seems that so much is going on and changing and that seems to come with spring. So I think this is it, people.

Changes are going on everywhere. My sister is planning big changes in her job, location, and relationship. My grandmother is selling her house that she’s lived in for a million years. My best friend got her graduate degree and is moving to NYC. My mom had to get a “summer job.” There are some engagements and weddings and babies coming. Lots of big things happening, but none really seem to be happening for me. Other than one of my jobs ending next month, some new workout clothes and that whole weird date thing, I’m still pretty blah about it all. I’m pretty f-ing sick of being blah and figured it time to take matters into my own hands. So I stirred the pot a little.

Ever since my trip to Costa Rica was cancelled last fall, I’ve had Central America poking me in the back of my brain every once in a while. I was pretty bummed when my trip fell through. It kind of worked out, as I really couldn’t afford it then and the timing was just a bit off. After I went to Puerto Rico last fall though, I’ve been dying to get somewhere exotic-ish. A few weeks ago, I wrote a simple catch-up email to one of my BFFs and soulmates and mentioned that I need get some traveling out of my system before I settle down again. I invited her to come along and who woulda thunk! – she said yes.  A few more emails and texts back and forth and bam we are booked for a two week adventure through Guatemala and Honduras!  I knew I wanted to travel, I knew it had to be Central America, and I knew I didn’t want to go it alone this time. I knew it would happen. I just wasn’t sure how or when. Talk about a dream come true.

I’m pretty into keeping the faith, even though it has been really, really, really difficult lately. I haven’t exactly been in the best frame of mind to stay positive, but I can honestly say that I have done my best. I know that’s true because when I think about the last 8 months my eyes tear up. When things like this trip come together, I just feel so good about the universe. I need to get better at feeling this good about the universe when things aren’t so together. I think appreciating it at times like this has to be a good start.

So really…what the hell am I even talking about? Everything is changing for me and there is way more to come. I’m leaving one job in a month. I’ve met so many new people in the last couple months. I’m going to Guatemala and Honduras with one of my favorite people on the planet. Summer is coming (painfully slow but still coming). I’ve been good with my workouts and feel stronger than I have in a long time. I couldn’t get a word down before and here I am up past my bedtime writing a post. I’m getting back into the swing of writing and nutrition-ing. And after I get back from my trip on September 4th, even more changes are in store. My life is going to be completely different.

Day by day nothing seems to change but pretty soon, everythings different.