I did a speedboat tour of the Phi Phi islands today(pictures to come in next post). I’m so sunburned and I don’t even care. These places are so beautiful that I seriously forget to breathe when I am looking at them. So beautiful that I honestly don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or vomit when they are in front of me. It is overwhelming. That is how remarkable this place is and how much it makes you feel. It has been a bit tough since I left my other travelers when we split up about a week ago to do our own thing. If you know me at all you know that I don’t mind being alone. Most of the time I might even prefer it, but being here is different. People will ask, “are you traveling alone?” with sad sorry-for-you eyes. I’m pretty sure I was the only American on my tour today and I was most definitely the only single traveler. I don’t mind saying that yes, right now I am traveling alone. And I don’t really ever feel alone. I spent all day with at least 25 other people experiencing the same places I was. But that isn’t what this about.

I know what it is to be far away from everyone I love. In 2007, I ran away to California from Massachusetts and never looked back. That means my people were always at least 3,000 miles away from me at any given time. But they know what is in California. It only took a 6 hour flight to get to me and see my life there. In Thailand, I might be 3,000 miles from anyone that speaks native English. Maybe 3,000 miles from someone who has ever even been to San Diego. And it’s hard. I had to come here and I have no regrets, but I can’t help but look at these things and think of someone back home who would love to see it. Or sit across from a new friend at dinner, and wish that person was my dad or my mom or my sisters or my best friend. I wish all of the people I love were here to see the same things that I am seeing. To feel the same things that I am feeling. It is a bit strange to experience these things alone. Again, I’m not alone when I’m with 30 other people. But that isn’t the same as being with people you know and care about.

I don’t miss being home. I miss home being with me.