Wait, thats not right. I don’t hate Thailand. Turns out I’m just a really big drama queen sometimes.

I did not have a good day on Thursday. I was tired and cranky, I couldn’t do anything right, and nothing would work for me the way it was supposed to (I’m looking at you, stupid office printer). My cake was iced when I got a flat tire on my way to class. I had to leave my bike on the side of the road, get a tuk-tuk the rest of the way to school, jump into a class of rowdy 5 year olds, and teach them English songs while I pretended to not hate everything about everything. I was able to get my bike fixed, but now suffer from flat-tire paranoia and a fear of riding my bike anywhere important.

Friday didn’t go much better and by Friday night I was exhausted and drained. All I wanted to do was workout, eat dinner, take a long (cold) shower, lay in my bed, watch a movie where they only speak American and then get a good night’s sleep. Keeping with the trend, my neighbors obviously planned a big huge party complete with a live screaming band right in front of my house. The party ended with a 6:45am wake up call that was even louder than the party the night before. In case you don’t believe me, here is the evidence. Please keep in mind that the door I am filming through is closed.

Ok…enough with the self-pity party. I’m not writing this post to complain. I’m writing it to express how stupid, judgmental and close-minded, people can be. Me included. Every time one of these things happened, one of the first things to cross my mind was omg….I hate Thailand. How stupid is that? First of all, Thailand is amazing. But I have plenty more examples of my Thai hate, too. Getting cut in line at 7-11. Some a-hole beeping at me on my bike so their fat f-ing SUV can get by. The girls at the next table obviously talking shit about me and my friends. Are any of these Thai problems? Yeah right. These are human problems. They have nothing to do with Thailand. They happen everywhere. When I got a flat at home was my first thought was never ughh… I hate San Diego/California/the United States. So why is it that way here?

a little bit dramatic

A girl I met in Cambodia had a really bad accident there when some guy tried to snatch her purse off her shoulder while she was on a motorbike taxi. Guess what? She hated Cambodia. I loved it there, but I was accident free. Its so easy to make generalizations and lump things into categories. I think it might even be necessary sometimes. I have to categorize and generalize some things so my head doesn’t explode. Thais do this. English people do that. Americans think like this. Sometimes I genuinely don’t know any better and plead ignorance. Other times, its just easier to shut those things out than try to understand the unbelievably huge significance of why anything actually happens or why people are the way they are. Its easier for my brain to decide that something happened because I’m in Thailand because its the most major change I’ve been through recently. Humans like the blame game. “Something I didn’t like happened in this place/with this type of person, it must be because of that place/person” is a lot easier than admitting “Wow, I’m really having trouble accepting this shitty thing I’m going through.” Thailand isn’t to blame for my bad day. I am to blame. All those ‘problems’ I had last week were a result of me being an idiot or a brat, taking something personally when I shouldn’t have, or just wanting an easy way out.

So Thailand – I take it back. I don’t hate you. But if you could chat with the universe about maybe giving me a break, I’d really appreciate it 🙂