I recently and finally told a good friend that I’ve been having more-than-friend feelings for him. Turns out that he does not feel the same way. I kinda knew that it was going to happen this way so I was somewhat prepared for his response. Whenever two people cross the friends-only line, its usually only a matter of time before one of them is in this situation. He was as nice as he could possibly be without returning my feelings, but now I’m hurting and it sucks. I really don’t know how it will affect our friendship but thats just how it goes sometimes. I’m glad that my feelings are finally out there and that he knows about them. Hopefully after some time we can go back to normal again.
The day after this gentle and loving rejection, a mutual friend brought him up in conversation while we were out to dinner. To be fair, my girlfriend really doesn’t know the whole story about me and this guy and last night was really the first time we had ever really talked about it. It wasn’t really something I talked about with anyone. It definitely was not something I was ready to talk about less than 24 hours after it came to a head. She continued to pry and I got upset (about said rejection, not the prying). She started listing off all of the reasons why it is OK. It is for the best he doesn’t feel the same way I do. He’s too young. He’s not really what I’m looking for. It would never work out in the long run. I am a great person and I’ll find someone someday. Cue tears. I know that she was just trying to make me feel better but all it really did was make me feel worse. Maybe those are the responses that would make her feel better if she was in my shoes? The problem is, she isn’t in the same situation. I don’t know that she ever has been. Deep down, I know the things she said might be true but it just wasn’t what I wanted or needed to hear. We’ve never had the greatest communication and I was still just hurting to much to continue talking about it. I hope that when I’m ready I can tell her more. In that moment though, her thoughts about the situation were just adding to the pain. Unsolicited advice is rarely what a person needs. My feelings are legitimate, whether other people understand it or not. I cannot stop or change the way that I feel no matter how irrational or inappropriate it might be. As time passes I’ll feel better. And as annoying and shitty as it is right now I don’t want to be talked out of my feelings. I simply can’t be. I just want to be accepted and sympathized with for what I’m going through. Isn’t that all anyone wants?